Time for Something New...

The past is the past and we have moved on to a new adventure. To keep up with our adventures you can find us at http://wedontdoboring.blogspot.com/.

...And Life Changes

I need to not ask God for what I want.
I need to ask God for the grace to accept what HE wants.

This has become a very important lesson that last two months. After we got passed the PT testing we breathed a HUGH sigh of relief. The next week he had a test for some book training that he had been studying for the past year. To our great joy he passed his final test with flying colors :) After that we felt we could breath better then we had in months and that we could finally focus on some things that were not so serious...like our projects.
Through all of this we have learned a great deal about the military, how it works, and how to make it work with Peter. Peter having ADD causes us to work twice as hard to make sure that he is up to the basic standards of the military. Something we have worked extremely hard on the last six months. We have implemented morning routines that keep him on track. And medications that help him focus and be less scatterbrained.
What we found was that as hard as we try, and fight, and struggle to reach those standards of perfection we will never meet them to the level that is required by the military. This is resulting in my husband being discharged from the Air Force (not by our choice). As I write this I am packing up my house and preparing to move to Texas in a week. In Texas we will begin the journey of both of us finding jobs and I will be building my BeachBody Business with the financial goal of not having to work outside the home.
This will be my last post on "Life With My Airman"...this part of our life is over...and I will be revamping my blog and changing the name for a more life appropriate title. Any prayers sent in our directions as we continue this journey would be much appreciated.

Sunday Mornings...

This is a post explaining why we are a MINIMUM of 15 minutes late to church every single Sunday. And why we will NEVER make it to church once we have a child.

Our Sunday mornings start out with an alarm going off about 9:00. Sometimes I get up and do some stuff for about an hour. Sometimes I stay in bed and ignore the alarms for another hour. Around 10:00 start considering getting around and waking husband up. At this point one of two things happens. Either "stuff" happens ;)...resulting in us completely missing church. OR what happens is we get up about 10:15 and start getting ready. Getting ready involves picking out clothes. It usually starts with me picking out what I want to wear. Then Peter looks through his closet for something that coordinates with my outfit. He either can't find something in his closest that works with my outfit...or decides that he doesn't like my outfit and starts going through my closet. He finds 2-3 outfits for me...which I look at with not as much enthusiasm as him. I go and pick another outfit...he looks at it and tells me that the pieces I have don't match. He picks another one...I don't like that one either. Repeat several times. He finally says "fine, pick what you want. I don't care". I look through my closet/the clothes on the bed and find something. He picks out something that goes with what I choose. I second guess myself and change my outfit....and then change it again. He follows my outfit changes. By this point it is 10:45 (if we're lucky)...church starts at 11:00. After clothes are picked out it takes us a good 15min to get out of the house. I REALIZE that the solution would be get up earlier...but that's not going to happen on a Sunday...AND we actually have done that and STILL been late!! Oh and the reason that we will never make it to church once we have a child is because he is going to insist on coordinating his/her outfit with ours...rolling eyes...

The result of Sunday mornings

Learning Lessons...

If you had asked me a few months ago how I felt about God I would have told you that I was very angry at him. I can admit to this now and not be ashamed of this fact. The last 6 months have been anything but boring...and have been filled with lessons and adventures. Starting the day after Christmas we were hit with some pretty big stresses relating to Peter's career. Those stresses have been pretty consistent ever since. One of those lovely stresses was a failed pt test. He has had knea problems since he pole climbing in tech school. When someone fails a PT test they are written up and then given 3 months before they test again. When Peter took the original PT test I was praying...begging God to let Peter pass his test. I knew God could do it because he had done it with the several other tests Peter had taken. But this was the test that Peter failed. I was really upset. It caused extra stress on our life and it meant three months not six before we had to face another PT test. I couldn't figure out why God would allow yet another event to further challenge our lives. I got to the point where I felt that nothing mattered. I was angry at God for the fact that he would allow these events to keep hitting us when we were fighting to do what we were supposed to do and follow the rules. I was angry at God because he brought us here and was now letting us fail. I cried to my husband explaining that I was angry. He looked at me and told me "be angry, but be angry to God's face. Tell Him that you're angry at Him." And I did. One day something clicked. If I'm angry at God. If He is to blame for everything. If I can't trust God to do what is best for my family. If I stop trusting God. Then there is no point to anything. We are completely screwed. And there is no reason to ever hope for anything good or right. All that is good, all that is right, all that is honest, all that is pure ALL comes from God. Really it comes down to your option being death (whether physical or spiritual) or God. I choose God. I made the decision at this point that that I would trust God. He's in control and He has a plan.
This is about the time the PT retest happened. I figured that the way I prayed last time didn't seem to do much good. I decided to try a new approach this time around. I prayed that God would give us peace and give Peter focus and strength. He passed his PT test this time :)
It was after this that I realized exactly what I needed to do. I need to stop asking God for what I want and start asking God for the grace to accept what HE wants.

To be continued...

Pet Peeve of the Day...

One of the MANY things that irritates me beyond all others is when people feel the need to express their OPINIONS on whether my husband and I should have children. When you hear someone is pregnant people are all like "congratulations! that's so exciting!". If they hear that you don't have kids they're like "oh definitely wait for as LONG as possible". Well which is it?? are you excited for them or are you secretly thinking "suckers"?? People act like we have 100% control on whether or not we have children....my question to those people: Did you plan the timing of every single one of your children? Yeah, didn't think so. Here is what I've decided on the topic....it is NO ONE's business when we choose to have children. Our finances are NO ONE's business!! Whether we are "ready" to have children is NO ONE's business!! We are ADULTS!! And we are MARRIED!! So I would appreciate if people would quite acting like we are stupid teenagers. So, if you have any opinions on our financial state, our "readiness" to have children, or your "feelings" on when/where we should have children...PLEASE KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF!!!! Thank you :)

On a side note...we have no intention on having children anytime in the near future...but like I said how many of your children were planned?

Rant Over.

Provision...

As I watch my brother count down to his bmt leave date it brings back memories of Peter's bmt days. One of the clearest memories I have from that 8 1/2 weeks is the one letter I got from him. The night I got the letter I was driving home at night, probably after a night class close to finals. I hadn't heard from Peter in a couple weeks and I was really upset about it. I missed him so much and by that point was angry because I hadn't had any contact. I cried on the way home that night. When I got home I checked the mailbox and found the letter he wrote me. I was so happy. He wrote "I love you sweetheart" on the outside of the envelope. Words I needed to hear so bad. I held that letter and cried. I didn't open it for at least a half hour. And when I sat down to open it I so very carefully cut open the top of the envelope...making sure that I cut only the envelope and not the precious piece of paper inside. The paper that he had held in his hands just days before...I pulled the letter out and read it...slowly. The letter that had taken him almost a week to write I read slowly... and then I read it again.
Just hours before that I had been crying in the car on my way home. Because I hadn't heard from the man I loved. I needed to badly to hear from him. And God knew that. When I was at the point where I was most upset God had already provided what I needed. It was a very small thing...and a reminder that is easy to forget. That letter for me is a reminder that God knows what our needs are whether it is physical or emotional.

Babies...or lack thereof...

Anyone who reads my blog who likes to pretend that sex does not exist should not read this post :)

I would like to state for all the doubters and to those who made bets(and I know who you are)...that we have been married almost 8 months and are NOT pregnant.

Proof :)

 

 

 

 

 

This has been an interesting topic for us. When we got married we did lots of research in to all types of birth control. We're not "birth control is murder/abortion" kind of people. But we do have concerns of the effects of bc on the woman's body. There are three types of birth control: hormonal, IUD, and barrier. All of which have advantages and disadvantages. And can be researched in great detail online.

Pills are in the hormonal category and  for most women the pill is their choice. We have chosen not to use the pill because of the hormonal effects. My body is pretty regular. I usually have a very predictable period. I see no reason to screw that up with unnecessary hormones. The pill is also known to be responsible for decrease of libido. And many woman who have gotten pregnant right after getting off of the pill have had miscarriages. The women in my family have a history of miscarriages for reasons that have not been clear. I have no desire to introduce something to my body that may cause complications in the future. Even though our preference is to wait a couple years to have children I intend to do everything I can to prepare my body for that time starting now. I want to give my children the best fighting chance to have a healthy start to life.

Our birth control of choice has been condoms...for us it has been the most effective method with the least amount of side effects. We are aware of the flaws in condoms. But feel that we are not to sacrifice health because of our lack of self-control. We will do our part to prevent pregnancy early in our marriage. But we also trust that it is going to be God's timing and not ours when the time is right to expand our family.

Young and Stupid...

This weekend we had the opportunity to go to a marriage retreat sponsored by our chapel. We got to spend the weekend downtown in a big city in the most amazing hotel we've ever been in. It was nice spending time together not having to worry about work stuff. Lots of quality couple time :) and we found a new old fashioned soda shop...which is very exciting for us. We have missed Pops in Oklahoma. We were able to stock up on some interesting soda flavors that we've never heard of/have.
Spending time with other couples was great and listening to the chaplain made for a great weekend. We discovered some things this weekend. Or rather some things were confirmed for us. We are not a "normal" couple. Stuff that drives most couples crazy about each other don't bother us. Because we have been able to workout the "normal" stuff we are strange. Now of course when we mention that fact we are just told that we're young...give it a few years...and my personal favorite "give it five years and you'll hate each other". We are in a society where even before we are married we are taught to hate our partner for the things they do to annoy us. Even if that thing may not actually annoy us that much. There were times this weekend after listening to the other women *!tch about their husbands I started wondering if there was something wrong with me because I actually am not driven crazy by the things most woman are driven crazy by. But then I had to mentally slap myself and realize how incredibly stupid that sounded. But I do get tired of being looked at like a freak because I am trying to find the best in my husband and not the things that drive me crazy. And the things he does that do annoy me I am learning how to deal with those so that I'm not annoyed by them.
I feel that when people like to use phrases like "give it five years" they are just waiting for us to fail. For us to get to a certain point where we "hate" each other for them to say "told you so". I do not understand that mentality of just wait long enough and they'll screw up.

Rant over...for now

btw... I'm not saying that he doesn't annoy me...I'm just annoyed by things like him picking out my clothes...and interrupting my projects with his ideas that will "improve" my project. But we are learning to work through those things so that in five years we WILL NOT hate each other.

Light bulb...

I think I'm starting to figure out something...God loves Peter. God loves Peter and he is so special to God. God loves taking care of Peter. He shows his love to Peter by providing for and taking care of him. There have been so many times where everything was hopeless and there was no apparent answer to the problem. But somehow it all worked out. It seems like we're doing really well, when suddenly something happens, everything is out of control. And we have no power to fix it. We are pushed to the point that the only thing we can do is pray. And cry. And pray some more. We can imagine the worse possible scenario and everything that can go wrong. But experience has shown miracles happening and the situation being resolved.
That's what is happening right now. There is a situation happening right now that could determine whether or not we are still in the military in 6 months. And at this point the solution is giving it all to God. He is the only one who can resolve this situation and bring peace. He can make it all better. He can fix everything. It doesn't mean he will. Or at least His answer may not be our answer. So it is my responsibility to be okay with whatever His answer is. All I can do is pray...and cry...and pray. And trust that God is in control of everything and that he has our best interest in mind. And deal with everything on a day by day basis.
Life with Peter is not going to be easy. There will always be challenges and scary moments. But we have God. And God is in control of EVERYTHING. I need to remember that and be willing to give him everything.

New Adventures...

The new year has been anything but boring. We started P90X, we started a new nutrition plan, and Peter has been officially diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). This is a diagnoses that will not effect his job in a negative way...especially since he is not a pilot. It actually might help him. Honestly we are by no way surprised by this diagnoses...but having an actual diagnoses makes it a real, and in some ways, life altering issue for us.  ADHD is something that is over diagnosed among children, so most do not actually have it. But I can say that for those who really do have it it is a very real thing. It is basically a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes difficulty staying focused and attending to daily, mundane tasks. That is a VERY simplistic definition of adult ADD. Basically for us it means that Peter does certain things that can be highly irritating and to me feel like he doesn't care enough about me to do the "right thing", but in reality it is something that is an ADD symptom. This is a list of ADD symptoms:

• poor organizational skills (home, office, desk, or car is extremely messy and cluttered)
• tendency to procrastinate
• trouble starting and finishing projects
• chronic lateness
• frequently forgetting appointments, commitments, and deadlines
• constantly losing or misplacing things (keys, wallet, phone, documents, bills)
• underestimating the time it will take to complete tasks

Anybody who knows Peter is aware that this list is like reading his autobiography. Every Single One Of Them. My issue is learning the fine line between an ADD behavior and a behavior that he has control over and CAN change. My personal favorite symptom being Hyperfocus. That's the one where I go to bed and he tells me he'll finish up whatever he's doing on the computer and then follow me...I wake up 4 hrs later and he's still not in bed. At this point I have no idea how to deal with this one. It really is an ADD thing...but I can't help but feel less important...even though he's not doing it maliciously.
The doctor gave him some meds to try out...but the meds were taking away his appetite (a bad thing when trying to do P90X), making him somewhat sick, and making him extra sleepy. Not good things to deal with currently. So he will be trying a new med this week. I guess that medications will help him balance out how he focuses and whatnot...but I do not know exactly how that will change things. It is all a new adventure that will keep life with my airman interesting.

Here are a few Myths/Facts

MYTH: ADD/ADHD is just a lack of willpower. Persons with ADD/ADHD focus well on things that interest them; they could focus on any other tasks if they really wanted to.
FACT: ADD/ADHD looks very much like a willpower problem, but it isn’t. It’s essentially a chemical problem in the management systems of the brain.

MYTH: Someone can’t have ADD/ADHD and also have depression, anxiety, or other psychiatric problems.
FACT: A person with ADD/ADHD is six times more likely to have another psychiatric or learning disorder than most other people. ADD/ADHD usually overlaps with other disorders.

MYTH: Unless you have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD as a child, you can’t have it as an adult.
FACT: Many adults struggle all their lives with unrecognized ADD/ADHD impairments. They haven’t received help because they assumed that their chronic difficulties, like depression or anxiety, were caused by other impairments that did not respond to usual treatment.

I think this goes for the spouse as well

http://lifewithadhd.tumblr.com/
http://helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_symptoms.htm

Resolutions...

I have never been a fan of New Years Resolutions. Mainly because I feel that New Years resolutions are made to be broken. That most people make them knowing full well that they will never keep them. So when on the last week of December we decided to start a new fitness/nutrition program on the next Monday (January 2nd) I wanted to make it very clear that this was NOT a New Years Resolution. Peter and I decided to do our first round of P90X. He desperately needs to get into shape for his PT test coming up. He is NOT getting the help that he needs meeting his fitness goals at work...so it is up to us to make sure that he meets those goals without outside help. ...and we need to start eating better and knock the junk food out of our diet. Neither one of us has ever done P90X...but I know that I am excited to start a new fitness program... especially one with my husband. One of the reasons we have not been working out together in the past is because I LOVE working out in the mornings. And that just doesn't work for him. And I REALLY didn't want to workout in the evenings. But now priorities have changed. It is now my priority to insure his success in every way that I possibly can. And at this point that means that I adjust my schedule to fit his in every way. Regardless of what is convenient for me. I was created to be his helpmeet... and that I will be.
Our new schedule consists of us working out when he gets home in the evenings. Making a healthy yummy supper afterwords and enjoying the rest of our evening.

It is looking to be a great healthy New Year. And whether you believe in New Year Resolutions or not... this is a great time of the year to make fitness changes. And as a Beachbody Coach I get to help others find their fitness groove while keeping mine and my husband's in check. A very awesome job.